Thursday, April 14, 2011

Change of Plans...

To say I was shocked, would be a total understatement.  Leaving the doctor yesterday, with the knowledge that there doesn't seem to be a penis growing on our baby, was beyond earth shaking.

We were so excited about adding a little man to the family.  I felt so happy for Mark to have a little son, and you could definitely tell he was elated to know a little Mark (male version) was on his way.  We had a name picked out which we LOVED and the pile of boy clothes was really starting to explode.  Then, in an instant, it all changed.

I warned the doctor when we got started that he better not change his story, because this baby boy already had a name.  He laughed.   He looked and looked....looked and looked...and looked and looked, again.  There were two residents in the room who seemed to be looking and looking as well.  At first he had a hard time getting the little "guy" to open "his" legs up, but then I could tell something else was up.  He finally stated, pretty frankly that, "I'm not seeing a penis, Stephanie."  He tried all kinds of different ways of looking and I even tried jiggling my belly a little in hopes that his little penis would come flying out on the screen, but to no avail.  Little man, is probably, a little woman.  My doctor said he would not confirm it, as he was wrong the first time.

He wrote me a script for an ultrasound and had me make my appointment at my hospital for next week.  I'm scheduled for Tuesday at 1pm.  When he handed me the ultrasound picture, I quickly realized how similar it looked to the one they handed me at 20 weeks with Monroe.  The three little lines were clearly visible and lo and behold, there was no penis.

So, now I'm having to totally change my whole mindset, and I'm not going to lie, it's REALLY hard.  All the plans and thoughts and dreams, are all different now.  I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my little boy, which really sounds absurd, as I am very blessed and happy about having another little lady in our lives.

So, there it is.  That's our news.  What was a boy, is now a girl and the name search is on again.


Tasha said...

You're right ... I do see girl parts. What an ordeal! Bless your heart!

Jenny said...

I'm so sorry! That would be very frustrating. I had another ultrasound today that confirmed we were having a girl. I figured that our ultrasound at 19 weeks was good, but there is always that nagging feeling of what if it were wrong?

Stephen Carlile said...

I still don't know how to read those things... I'm such a guy, I guess one day I'll learn. one day far from now.