Friday, April 8, 2011

Pass the tissues

From the time I was little, I've struggled with being overly sensitive.  I still remember things people said that hurt my feelings as a child, and that sensitivity hasn't gotten any better over the years.  I'm the one that cries at the corny commercials.  The Olympics, oh the Olympics--I'm a blubbering idiot during those few weeks.  I love an underdog story and am totally filled with elation when someone is able to accomplish their dreams.

Being sensitive myself has definitely helped me to be more sensitive to others and their feelings.  As a teacher, that really was important, as kiddos are the very most sensitive and their lives can be shaped by the things we say and they way we treat them.

I've been really trying to do a lot of soul searching lately.  As important as sensitivity is in a person, I really feel like mine has gotten out of hand.  Words and actions that most people would be able to brush off, really affect me.  They cut me to the core, but I'm too worried about how my feelings would make that person feel to tell them about it.  It really hurts me when I feel like someone doesn't think twice about how their actions and words affect others, but how can I hold others to my standard that I know is bordering on overboard?

So, that's what's been on my mind lately.  I finding more and more, how the only way to grow passed the things I struggle with, is to give them to God.  I have to allow Him to work on my inside and not worry so much about changing others.  I have to ask God for a softer heart towards those that hurt me, but a stronger spirit, to know that's just their way.

It's so reassuring to know that I'm a work in progress.  That God continues to mold me and shape me and sometimes, just like a potter, he has to crumple me all up and start again.  I've been through a lot of "growth" times in my life.  Times when I really feel like God has spoken to me and helped teach me a hard lesson.  My prayer today is that every day will be a "growth" day.  Every day God will teach me and mold me and make me more into the person He knows I can be.



Tasha said...

Good post! I agree with your thoughts.

Stephen Carlile said...

I needed this, thanks steph